Evolution…ah, such a mystery to most of us… But the following can explain a lot

photo by Maria*PA

Q. How are rabbits like calculators?
A. They both multiply really fast.

photo by jadedink

A very modest lady applied for a job at the factory where they made “Tickle Me Elmo” dolls. It was Friday and almost quitting time, and hurriedly the boss told her to report for work on Monday. He quickly explained that she would be stationed on the assembly line just before the dolls were packed into boxes.
On Monday they started up the line and within twenty minutes had to shut down because one worker couldn’t keep up. The boss went down the line to find the problem. The new employee was very busy trying to do her part but she had a bunch of dolls waiting for her.
Closer examination showed she was sewing little cloth bags containing two walnuts in the appropriate place on the dolls.
The boss could not control his laughter and said,
“Lady, I said to give each doll Two—–Test—–Tickles.”

“My husband said it was him or the cat… I miss him sometimes.”

Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked:
“Whatcha doing, Tim?”
“My goldfish died,” replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. “And I’ve just buried him.”
The neighbor was concerned. “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?”
Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied: “That’s because he’s inside your cat.”

A man went to sell his dog. A buyer asked him, “Is this dog faithful?”
The man replied, “Yes,I have sold him 3 times but he returns to me.”

Q: How do you catch a runaway dog ?
A: Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone !

Q: What do you call a woodpecker with no beak ?
A: A headbanger !

Q: What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food ?
A: “Let us prey.”

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.
The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
“Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”